Adults only, no gifts and the registry: 30 examples of wedding invitation wording

What goes on the card, and what goes elsewhere

A wedding invitation has three helpers: the envelope, your wedding website and, traditionally, a details card. Ours is one card, so its details side does that card’s job. Give it short pointers, and leave the explaining to the website.

• On the front: the invitation itselfYour names, the date and the ceremony. Keep every extra line off the front: next to your names, “adults only” or a registry reads louder than you mean it to.
• On the details side: one line per topicThe ceremony and reception, the RSVP line, then the practical lines: dress code, an adults-only line, a hotel or parking pointer and your website. One line each, said once.
• On the envelope: exactly who is invitedThe envelope is the clearest adults-only signal there is. “Sam and Jordan Lee” means the two of them; “The Lee Family,” or the children’s names on a line below their parents’, means the children too.
• On your website: everything that needs explainingThe registry and any honeymoon fund, the hotel block and its booking code, directions, shuttle times, the weekend’s schedule, and a few kind words on why the day is adults only.
• In person: gifts and moneyTell your parents and the wedding party where you’re registered, or that you’d rather have no gifts. Guests ask them, and a word from family is gentler than any printed line.

Wording examples, line by line

Each line is written the way our wedding cards print it. Change the names, places and dates to your own, and pick one line per topic: two adults-only lines on one card read as a warning.

Wedding invitations

Every one of our wedding designs prints these lines on its details side. Pick one and add your names, the ceremony and the reception.

Common mistakes

• A blunt “No kids”“No children” in capitals reads as a rule for guests who might misbehave. Say what the evening is, “an adults-only celebration,” rather than who isn’t welcome.
• Saying it twice, or on the frontOne line on the details side is enough. Repeated, or printed beside your names, a preference turns into a warning.
• A seat count on a printed card“We have reserved two seats in your honor” only works when each card is filled in by hand. A printed run reads the same for every guest, so let the envelope name who is invited.
• An exception that isn’t clear“Adults only, except family” leaves cousins guessing. Name the exception exactly, such as the children in your wedding party or nursing babies, and make it the same for everyone.
• Asking for money in printA request for cash on the card itself is the line guests mind most. Name a honeymoon fund on your website, and if you print anything, make it an offer: “If you’d like to give a gift …”
• More than the back can holdBooking codes, shuttle times and directions crowd the details side. Print a pointer, “Accommodation: A room block at the Hawthorne Inn,” and put the rest on your website.

How to say “adults only” politely

The envelope does most of the work. Address it to exactly the people invited: “Mr. and Mrs. Sam Lee” or “Sam and Jordan Lee” means the two of them; “The Lee Family,” or the children’s names on a line below their parents’, means the children too. Strict etiquette, as the Emily Post Institute puts it, stops there and prints no “adults only” at all.

Most couples today add one gentle line anyway, so no one has to guess. Put it on the details side, say it once, then repeat it on your wedding website and tell close family, who will be asked.

The strict view, the Emily Post Institute’s, is to make no exceptions. Many couples still make one or two, such as the children in their wedding party, nursing babies or their own children. If you do, keep each one clear and the same for everyone, and expect that a few guests with young children may not be able to come.

If a reply comes back with children’s names on it, call kindly and soon, so no one arrives expecting a place that isn’t set.

• The Emily Post Institute: How to Signal “No Children” at Your Wedding

Gifts, the registry and a honeymoon fund

Traditional etiquette keeps every mention of gifts off the invitation, even “no gifts, please,” because an invitation is about wanting guests there, not about what they bring. The registry goes on your wedding website, and the people closest to you pass it on.

The mainstream view today is a little softer. Your website’s address on the invitation is fine, since guests find the registry there. A registry printed on the invitation itself is still best avoided; if you want one, keep it to a single line on the details side.

On a one-card invitation, the details side is your enclosure card. The gentlest choice is the website line in Other details and an empty Registry field. The Registry field is there for couples who would rather say it plainly.

A honeymoon fund or a charity works the same way: name it on your website, and if you print a line, make it an offer, not a request.

No gifts at all? A single line such as “Your presence is our present” is widely accepted now and spares guests the question. Leave it off if your families keep to the old rule.

• The Emily Post Institute: Wedding Registry Etiquette

How the lines fit on one card

Our wedding invitations are one card: a flat card printed on both sides, or a folded card. Your names, a short opening line and the date lead the front. The details side, the back of a flat card or the inside of a folded one, carries the ceremony and reception, the RSVP line and the extra lines. There is no separate details card or reply card to tuck in.

Each line has its own field, and a field you leave empty prints nothing. They print in the same order on every design: dress code, registry, accommodation, parking, the Children line, then Other details. On most of our designs, the RSVP line comes just before them.

Other details prints as one short paragraph, so a no-gifts line and your website go there one after the other. The details side has room for a few lines, not a page: when it’s full, move something to your website.

Dress code wording

Use the terms guests already know. Black tie means tuxedos and evening gowns; black tie optional leaves the tuxedo to the guest; cocktail attire means a suit or a cocktail dress; garden party attire is lighter and brighter, with shoes that suit grass.

Add a few words only when the place calls for them: a ceremony on the lawn or the beach, or an evening outdoors that turns cool.

The RSVP line and your website

The RSVP step writes the line for you from the reply-by date and the RSVP to field. If guests reply on your website, put its address in that field: “to Emily and James at emilyandjames2027.com.”

Your website can take what no printed line can: meal choices, the names of plus-ones and song requests, and the answers to the questions guests ask about children and gifts.

Making the invitation with us

Choose a wedding design and type your names, the ceremony and the reception into the card. Each line on this page goes into the field named above it, and a field left empty prints nothing. The Registry, Accommodation, Parking and Children lines aren’t asked when you set up the card: our design assistant offers them while you write the card, and adds any of them when you ask. Once a line is on the card, you can change its words. For a line that fits none of the fields, ask our design assistant to fit it onto the card.

You see a proof of both sides before you pay. The examples on this page are free to copy, wherever you make your invitations.

Questions and answers